If I Hide Will The World Still Be there

Decades pass by and earth still rotates through the passage of time.It makes me wonder whether what we do in everyday life has an effect, if any, on the way the world spins, on the way the world works, on the way people go about everyday business. I still cant get the hang of speaking what i think and yet I've just done so in this sentence. I find it obscene that most people have an opinion or rather a vocal capacity to engage conversation and air out there likes and dislikes without premonition of the recipients view on the manner in which there ideologies are transferred. Fill a sentence with enough social jargon and anything can come across as intellectually sound. So now i find myself lost in a world where people are interested in what i have to say and yet i cannot bring myself to form coherent speech or thought but in solace it corrupts my mind. It pains me that my friends can be candid with each other with no fear of reprimand or rejection and be unique on demand without having to check themselves for fault or lack of character. Five years ago my lingo, appearance and every fibre of me was a hundred percent totally ME but today i get this cold void in me saying I've leeched off character traits of others and my originality has been tarnished to a sad and lonely existence whereby i look and listen but soon start denying my input cos i start second guessing myself on whether what i say has a bearing on others or if it falls on deaf ears.....The UDW soccer tournament gauged a huge decrease on my social skills and made me realise that when it comes to talking to someone who you've shared alot with, can you show the same love to a person without society conversating on you?? Yesterday i practiced foosball at a guys house and he happens to play for South Africa. After the session i spoke the niceties of goodbye and take care and started walking to my car just after sunset. I looked up the stairs i was walking on and this huge dog was coming down toward me. Funny how in the face of adversity human and animal are so alike, the dog started sprinting toward me and barked baring its fangs and i went cold. Not cold like frozen to the spot but cold like within my depths i felt fear, genuine and unrelenting. It gripped me and my heartbeat automatically began an erratic symphony. HE alone knows what made me call out HEY! and lo and behold it started whimpering in shyness at my outcry. With its tail between its legs it ran away and i walked to the top of the stairs, the proverbial Rocky, champion of canines i wonder? But my point is that the fear i experienced exhilirated me afterward and adrenaline coursed my veins and i felt ALIVE!!!! I drove aimlessly around Durbs just feeling confidence grip me and empower me. I felt like i wanted to hike up signal hill just to watch the sunset (you know it was you that gave me the desire to see it again)....Oh well i have a mountain of work to attend so aurevoir monami's and MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU